Why most women feel uncomfortable in front of the camera (and why it’s not your fault)

February 12, 2026

The Real Reason and What changes everything

You know that feeling. The camera comes out and suddenly you’re hyper-aware of everything, your smile feels forced, your arms feel awkward, you don’t know what to do with your hands. As a Burnaby family photographer, I hear this from nearly every woman who reaches out.

Here’s what I want you to know: this isn’t a You problem. You were taught early that being photographed meant performing an acceptable version of yourself.

One that didn’t take up too much space.
One that kept everyone else comfortable.

No wonder you feel uncomfortable—you’re not being asked to be seen, you’re being asked to comply.

The Real Reason You Feel Uncomfortable

You’ve spent years being told your value is tied to looking a certain way—a way that keeps changing, always just out of reach.

Younger. Thinner. Smoother. Brighter. More, but also less.

So when your family photographer suggests a portrait session, it’s not just a photo. It’s a test you’re not sure you’ll pass.

That’s exhausting. And it’s not your fault.

You rather be the one documenting everyone else’s life, but now you’ve disappeared from your own story.

The truth is, your kids won’t remember if your hair was perfect in those legacy family portraits. They’ll just wish they had more photos with you in them. You deserve to exist in your own story.

What Changes Everything

Here’s what I’ve learned creating meaningful family portraits:

You don’t need to feel comfortable before you step in front of the camera. Comfort comes from being actually seen! Not judged, not fixed, not performed for.

It comes from someone creating space for you to breathe. To move. To be awkward and laugh about it. To try something and realize the world doesn’t end if it doesn’t look perfect.
It takes someone on the other side of that camera who gets it. Who isn’t trying to make you into something you’re not. Who sees the discomfort and doesn’t rush past it, but holds space for it.
It comes from realizing the goal was never to look like someone else’s version of beautiful. The goal is to look like you. Fully present. Fully alive. This is what timeless family photography should be about.

Not performing, but presence.